Lifestyle - Sex

Sex is a motive force brining two people into intimate contact. There are few people for whom sex has not been important at some time and many for whom it has played a dominant part in their lives. Sometimes, they may have nothing in common except mutual sexual interest. Moreover, their encounter may be brief or it may lead on to the principal relationship in their lives. (Bancroft, 2002). Swinging is one form of sexually open marriage.

In addition to this, it is regarded by participants as an answer to sexual monotony that is compatible with a conventionally structured marriage, the rules of swinging are designed to protect the marital relationship. It is a joint, shared activity, planned and discussed together and not done secretively or away from the other partner. Technically, “swinging” is defined as a married couple having sexual relations with at least one other individual. Thus, swinging is not the same as adultery, since both partners are accorded equal privileges whereas adultery usually involves only one partner.

The philosophy underlying swinging is that love and sex can be separated. The result is sexual involvement with others with little emotional involvement. This philosophical claim for swinging maybe true, but for other swingers there are other conditions underlying the effort. Modern society usually means that we live in more urbanized environments in relative isolation. Since sex is not an impersonal act, some swingers may use it as a means of gaining intimacy (Cargan, 2007). In swinging, sexual ties with outsiders are brief and segmented short term loans over 12months.

Moreover, emotional entanglements with them are deliberately avoided. Only sex within the marriage is viewed as romantic and loving. Ideally, the first loyalty is always to the mate. Denfeld and Gordon (1975) suggested that swinging and other forms of sexually open marriage might be viewed as functional in providing individuals who have a high need for sexual variety an outlet compatible with marriage. Swinging offers both partners sexual novelty, the thrill of the forbidden and a taste of sex without entanglements or responsibility alongside love, marriage and family (Rouse, 2002).

Breedlove and Breedlove (1964), researchers who studied 407 swinging couples, estimated that 2. 5 million couples in the United States exchange partners on a somewhat regular basis or more than three times per year. Ads in swingers’ magazines and personal contacts were the primary ways swingers met new people until the 1990s, when the widespread availability of the Internet quickly made it the preferred medium for contacting other couples.

The Internet also probably helped make swinging more widely available than before because it made it easier for people to discretely locate potential partners in their geographic area. Swinging started in urban and suburban areas on the coasts, and although it was never limited geographically to specific parts of the country, swinging as a lifestyle was more challenging in less populated regions because exposure was more likely. The Internet made it easier to practice swinging with a degree of anonymity (Coleman et a., 2007)

Then, couples meet at a swingers clubs or bars, through personal reference or recruitment and advertisements. Club for swingers began in the 1960s, and early ones, such as New York City’s Plato’s Retreat, achieved some degree of national fame. Swingers’ clubs were quire discrete, however, and were known only to avowed swingers. House parties continued throughout the rest of the century to be a popular venue for swinging (Coleman et al. , 2007).

Breedlove and Breedlove (1964) guessed that the number of persons who had ever tried swinging was about 8 million, based on the observation that 70,000 couples had placed ads in the magazines, but only 4 percent of their sample of swingers had ever placed such ads. Most recreational swingers are relatively well educated, often in professional and white-collar occupations, basically “straight” and conservative in values; except for their sexual lifestyle (Rouse, 2002).